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Recently the Times Of Guidfast had the rare opportunity to interview dataSpheric. Below follows the full transcript.

TOG: Good afternoon sir, thank you for giving us your time.

DS: No problem dude, want a brew?

TOG: No thank you. Are you ready to begin?

DS: Fire when ready.

TOG: You are rather well known as a Section-508 developer, and having produced standards-compliant software which is in international deployment, what do you feel about the nature of the accessible web as we verge into "web 2.0"?

DS: OK, what the hell did you just say?

TOG: What would you say to aspiring webmasters?

DS: Tell them they are better off waiting tables.

TOG: What do you think of the future of the American software industry?

DS: Learn Mandarin or Hindi. And go to China or India and wait tables.

TOG: Is dataSpheric looking to expand international operations?

DS: Not really. Some of us are interested in tomatoes now. And potatoes. Things that rhyme with "O" mostly.

TOG: Is dataSpheric looking at outsourcing to follow recent trends?

DS: dataSpheric will never, ever outsource in our lives except with Grey who lives in Canada. Besides that, we hire American talent. And we do in fact search these United States to work with only the best. Only the best. We're more than a development shop dude, we're family. Dude, we know each other's wives and kids. Why are you asking me all these questions? We don't outsource, period. We insource. We're Americans bro and we're damn proud of it.

TOG: What is the pay-scale like in dataSpheric?

DS: Kind of internationally standard at this point. The shop marks up the worker at least 20%. The top pay rate in the shop is $65 per hour USD. From there, we mostly bid on jobs and the people know how to clock and the shop knows how to buffer them. So far, we generally make our like bandits. Occasionally we have to pay out for some prima-donna ballerina designer from the coasts but we pay them and kick them out. We hate people from the coasts. People from California and New York suck. All the clients from New York and California suck.

TOG: Why don't you guys come to the Prescott Web Designer's Meetup Group?

DS: Because all we'll do is act all superior and know-it-all and nobody will like us.

TOG: Is there anything else that you would like to say?

DS: Yup. Kids, learn a bit about software, learn a bit about web development, learn to use a hammer and a screwdriver and a rifle. Learn how to grow things and can them and learn about dry storage. Don't keep more than $2k in the bank and if you don't know how to get more than $2k in the bank we'll try and give you some advice. And we have 2 kinds of news. The bad kind and the good kind. The bad news is that the nation will go through poverty. The good news is that you are talented and creative and if you keep your eyes and ears open, you can get through.

TOG: That was interesting.

DS: Yeah and keep your family close and get to know your neighbors. People are what's most important and when you got nothing, if you got people you are never poor.

TOG: Thank you for your time sir.

DS: Yeah and it's not too late to get in on some gold and silver, even for poor people.

TOG: The interview is concluded now.

DS: We're not shitting you. Anybody can jump up on Ebay and find a good deal on old USA silver coins that are from 1964 or earlier. It's a really good investment.

TOG: Good day sir.

DS: And tell them to stock up at least 20 gallons of water even if it's from the tap! Dude and tell them to buy dry grains and rice by the 20-pound sack! And tell them how to dig root-cellars and raise chickens! Dude! Where are you going? Dammit all, here we are again by ourselves brothers. Yo the squash was really good and if there's any more of that curry dish.....tea and crumpets? OK, totally tea and crumpets dude. Is this thing still turned on?

WTF? Did I miss something at the last meeting????

DUDE, that was awesome. I feel better already. Don't forget to add water catchment to you list of skills, we all know Fluoride is a commie plot.

nancy timper